Life’s Journey – Birthdays

Birthday celebrations are probably a holdover from times where birth mortality was high. Diseases prevalence was high and many diseases were deadly.

Nowadays, advances in medical science have converted many diseases from being death sentences to chronic conditions.

So what do birthdays mean to you? Blowing out an additional candle every year? Being closer to retirement?

This year, I was surprised by my friends, with a piece of cake, one week before my actual birthday. I was not really expecting any celebration so that was a pleasant surprise.

For my actual birthday, I was out of the country, due to business travel. I was not really keen to be stuck in a plane on my birthday and thus opted to stay overseas.

On the actual day, I felt thankful for the people in my life. Perhaps, every year, on my birthday, I am reminded how they have stuck around for another year. Receiving well wishes from well-aged friends, new friends, current colleagues, ex colleagues, I am reminded that we touch, and are touched by many others.

Birthday well wishes are a way to say, I am glad you are here, on this Earth and that I had the chance to have known you.

To cap it off, I got a video call from my nieces, to sing me Happy Birthday. One who obviously had just cried before the call, with stuffy nose and red eyes.

Thank you, for the well wishes. To let me know, you remember me. And also to let me know that you are doing well too.

May you be well too, till my birthday next.

 

 

Traveling: With others

In Singapore, this is the season of traveling as this is the school holidays period.

I had a few trips between Oct to Dec. Some were business trips and a few personal ones for leisure.

Generally, I travel alone for my trips. I travel light and is often out of the airport within 20 mins of landing.

When I travel with others, either for business or leisure trips, I find the speed dramatically slower. We might not leave the airport within 1 hr of landing!

Traveling with others also mean making concessions on the places I visit, the food we eat and the overall tone of the holiday.

Nonetheless, there are advantages traveling with others.

Traveling with others, I learnt about things not generally in my scope of interest. Like Paw Patrol toys, as my colleague was hunting for it, during some gaps in our business travels.

Aquariums do not generally rank high on my must do list, but we went during my recent leisure trip, on the request of my travel companions. And I had a great time there.

Traveling with others can be a chance to step into another world, temporarily. To try, to learn new things.

To me, that’s the main reason to travel, to learn of something new.

Traveling: The way I like it

Thinking: Santa Claus

There was an interesting discussion on radio a couple of days ago.

The question was “Would you tell your kids if Santa Claus is real or false?”

Some people said they would tell their kids that Santa Claus is a fairy tale and does not exist in real life. Some said they would tell their young kids that Santa Claus does indeed exist. Others said they would tell their kids, they were their Santa Clauses.

What would you tell your kid?

For me, I think it is not correct to say Santa Claus does not exist. It is just the Santa Claus in our fairy tales, the one who has elves working in factories, may not exist in our knowledge. But who is to say, they do not.

Let’s keep a little child in us. Cos it is a little treasure. To be able to believe in something, based on faith only.

Watching: Crazy rich asians

I finally got to watch this movie on the inflight entertainment system on my flight.

And no I was not traveling first class, unlike the lead actor and actress in the movie. I was doing econ or aka cattle class.

I smiled as I sat through the movie, as there were nods to Singapore peppered throughout. From the Singlish, the food, to the Marina Bay sands.

Is this movie correct on depicting Asians or Singaporeans? Nope. But this is a Hollywood movie. You cannot really expect it to be correct.

This movie is probably what we call a banana; yellow on the outside, white on the inside.

Having said that, if you enjoy the show as a Cinderella show or love story where two people in love try to find their way to each other, it is a nice way to pass an hour or so.

Watching the movie did, though make me happy that I was on my way home. I  wasn’t going to the Marina Bay Sands. But I was going home, to enjoy my curry, prata and laksa. And be with my family and friends.

Where we will have arguments, get frustrated with each other, then agree to disagree. And know that no matter what, we have people that have our backs.

This movie is a love story, between two persons. It is also a love story of the family bonds.  Last but not least, it is a proclamation of love to Singapore. Cos no matter how we whine about you, we do love you 🙂

Traveling: Orange, Red and Brown

I am based in Singapore, an equatorial country where we have only one season: HOT.

This is probably why I am drawn to travel during the autumn days, where I can see the fall colours.

Sometimes in our daily grind, we miss the seasons moving past us. We bury ourselves in our work, jumping from one task to another.

Since I rejoined the workforce six months ago, I have been trying to adapt to my new job and new pace of life. I had to drop off the time for myself, to think and reflect.

As I stand underneath the fall foliage, I am reminded that time waits for no one. I need to set aside the time for me.

The seasons pass and we have to evolve as well.

 

Reading: Dare to lead – by Brene Brown

I took a while to get through this book as it covers several topics, both in breadth and depth.

Currently, I do not lead a team in my work. Nonetheless, there were some interesting portions to me.

I have often struggled with the concept of empathy. I find many people claiming to be empathetic but I do not understand how so many people can be empathetic and the world is the way it is….

Brene explains empathy not as understanding the experience another has gone through, but rather, understanding the emotions underlying the experience. That makes a lot more sense to me. I can understand if another person is feeling frustrated or upset, their emotions, much more than, their experience of being shunned at work, for example.

I also find many people confusing sympathy and empathy. The difference, as explained by Brene, is that sympathy is I feel for you, while empathy is, I feel with you.

Vulnerability is a major topic of interest to Brene. As a leader, it is often assumed that you would have all the solutions to all of the questions. This can be an assumption, from the leader’s end, or the followers’ end.

Being vulnerable means opening yourself up, sharing your fears, your dreams. In a way, it is like shouting show hand at the games table. It is darn scary to risk all.

I have met people who used my openness to strike at me. I have learnt though, it is not about me. It’s their issue and choice, to strike at people’s openness.

I have a choice to close up, like the mimosa plant, when people strike out. Or I can continue to stay open.

In the book, it also covers living our values. Many people whom I have met, are not able to articulate their own values. To be truly happy, we need to live our values, and that means risking all to fight for what we believe in.

This book introduces a lot of concepts. If you have been thinking about vulnerability, leadership and values, it would be an interesting read for you. If you have never thought about these topics, this book may not feel relevant to you.

For me, I am going to leave the book aside for a while. And then, pick it up again in a couple of months to read again. As I need to ponder about some of the things I picked up in the book.

 

 

 

 

Liking: Thank you

So this is again the Thanksgiving week in US. Last year this time, I really started to think about how much we are given, by those around us.

A year has passed so quickly.

I have to say that I am very thankful for the flexibility from my family and friends.

Ever since I rejoined the workforce, I have been traveling for work. The trips have often been at late notice. I also have had late night meetings which disrupts my plans with family and friends.

Nonetheless, we have continued to try and battle the odds and keep looking for dates and slots where we can meet up.

Sometimes, it means catching up over tea. Sometimes, it means sneaking off work to grab a quick dinner. Or even meeting for breakfast, as compared to the more popular lunch or dinner slots. Some parents had to dump their kids, so as to sneak out to meet up.

In spite of all the reasons and difficulties in staying in touch, we try. Cos it is important, and worth the time.

The connections that we have and maintain, I believe, are important for our growth.

Making new friends are fun and exciting but our old friends and family are like our roots, anchoring us, so that we may reach further.

Happy thanksgiving to my family and friends. Be well and enjoy your weekend, with your family and friends too!

Liking: Thanksgiving

Thinking: My year end review

So it is time to undertake the year end review at my workplace.

Somehow I have gotten through five months of working in my job. When I started working here, I was not sure if I was going to stay for very long. I was taking on some new tasks and a new scope of work, and frankly quite content to not rejoin the workforce.

Now though, I am quite glad that I pushed myself off the cliff and tackled this new job. I have learnt a lot of things, professionally.

In the personal capacity, I am also keenly aware that I have changed much. My perspective have changed, since my last job position a while back.

I have more confidence and not so concerned with what others think. Because of that, I no longer feel the need to argue with others. I put my point forward, explain my rationale, and leave it as it is.

I am the same, but not quite the same.

Your time has not been wasted, if you have learnt something. I think it has been a good five months for me.

Reading: Joyful – by Ingrid Fetell Lee

This is a book covered with multi colour spots.

Fitting the book title of joyful.

This book covers the various aspects which can bring us joy, for example being in nature or sunlight. Bright colours lift our moods as well.

Sparkly or cutesy stuff can also bring on a smile.

As I read this book, I just think back of how some things can cause my nieces to cackle with glee.

They love to see me in a particular dress, which is covered in crystals arranged in the shape of the moon and stars. They like to poke and prod at it, playing with the texture.

They love to stuff their toys in a small little bag and then pour all of it out again. They enjoy all the various textures and also the feeling of having a lot of things at their fingertips.

They gravitate towards yellow colour anything.

This week, I am going to shop for some bright colour clothes. Maybe, I can bring my nieces along, so that they can show me, what brings them joy.

The fundamental knowledge we seem to have been born knowing. Which we had suppressed or forgotten as we got older.

Being joyful is not really complicated.

Thinking: What’s in a job title

I am still relatively new in my job and not many people within the organization know of me yet.

It has been thus quite interesting in the past few months, seeing how people interact with me, before they know who I am, and after they figure it out.

There are those who interact with you casually, talking about anything under the world. And then they figure out your job title, and then they clamp up.

Then there are those, who ignore you, flicking you off as non-consequential. Then they figure out your job title, and then they start playing nice.

To me, my job title indicates my job responsibilities. It is not a definition of me. Even if my job title change, I would still make the same choices, comments.

I can understand the need to defer to decisions made by certain ranks.

I however, cannot understand, how certain ranks automatically qualifies you as a better person.

For those people who clamp up after knowing my job title, I try to continue to talk with them, without my job title. For those who play nice to my job title, I only talk to them with my job title. Since that is the only thing they recognize.

Thinking: Good or bad jobs?

Thinking: We are not only our jobs